Part 3:Fight On
The doctors weren’t sure. They determined that his lungs were healthy and functioning properly. The issue wasn’t his breathing. Something else was happening, they just didn’t know. They started with the eye infection, thinking something had potentially spread. They performed a plethora of tests – and then some more tests. My friend’s father personally ordered even more tests – none of which yielded any answers. So, while Amichai was stable, everything was incredibly uncertain.
I woke up early on Sunday August 4th – very early – 4:00 am. I walked over from the hotel hospital to the NICU. Its amazing how quickly you get into the routine. Take off any rings or jewelry. Wash your hands with the strong disinfectant. Put on the blue gown. Enter the NICU.
Me and Amichai – blue gown and all
Amichai looked good. His eyes were open, almost no traces of the infection. He was alert and kicking his legs around. I felt those kicks when he was in my stomach. A good hard kick to the ribs was his favorite move. I asked the doctor if there were any updates. Not much. He was stable, they were monitoring him and waiting for some more test results. I sat beside his incubator just watching. The nurse said I should talk to him because he will recognize my voice. Just say whatever is on your mind. I had everything on my mind… where to start? I didn’t want to make it complicated or serious, and quite frankly I simply couldn’t go there – so I just picked a topic I can talk about forever – basketball. I talked about the great Dr. J. I explained how he once dunked all the way from the foul line and how Michael Jordan took that same dunk to the next level. Dr J flew, Jordan levitated. I told him Michael Jordan is considered the greatest player of all time but growing up in Philly – my favorite player would always be Charles Barkley. I told him about the time I got Barkley’s autograph when I was just 8 years old. I was the only girl in line. I babbled on and on. Amichai was a good audience and it helped me too. I felt lighter, I felt more like me. The nurse told me to take a break and get some rest. When I left, Amichai was still kicking.
At 7 am, I came back to the NICU. Take off any rings or jewelry. Wash your hands with the strong disinfectant. Put on the blue gown. Enter the NICU. Except that I couldn’t go in. There was some type of commotion going on and only the doctors and nurses had access. I assumed it was another baby. I saw machines being rolled in. The staff was moving quickly – very quickly. And then the doctor came out and headed in my direction. Wait, what? No no, this couldn’t be about Amichai. He was kicking an hour ago…
But it was about Amichai. She explained that he had another episode where he turned blue. This time his oxygen desaturation numbers went so low, they needed to intubate him. They also noticed a slight twitch in his right hand which is an abnormal movement for babies. Newborns stick to wild uncontrolled movements with their arms and legs – twitches are something different. She defined those small twitches as seizures. Since seizures are neurological, she explained, they needed to check out his brain. The machine I saw being rolled into the NICU was actually the ultra-sound machine. The doctor went on to explain that they saw something on the ultra sound but needed a better look; therefore, he would be taken for an MRI later.
Keep calm. Keep calm. Keep calm. And then right on cue, my friend’s father appeared. He came to check up on us. I remember just looking at him – deer in headlights. He asked the doctor to go over everything again. He asked follow up questions and shook his head in agreement. He told me the doctors were taking all the right steps. He would try and push the MRI up. My job right now was just to be with Amichai.
Have you ever seen anyone actually intubated? I hadn’t – and then suddenly, right in front of my eyes was my 5 day old child lying in his incubator with a tube down his throat. The nurses explained that he had a feeding straw in also so he could eat. He wasn’t in pain and intubating him would help stabilize and keep his levels normal. I inhaled deeply and slowly let it out. Be strong. Be strong. Be strong. I stuck my hand through his incubator and placed it on his chest. I’m right here. He kicked his legs. Fight on.
My friend’s father indeed got the MRI pushed up and a few hours later Amichai had his brain scanned. The NICU staff informed us that the scans would be sent to the pediatric neurologist and we would have a meeting on Monday morning to go over the results.