Last week, Donald Trump hosted the U.S 2018 Winter Olympic and Paralympic team at the White House. He acknowledged their hard work and great accomplishments. He gave specific praise to the Paralympians and referred to their athletic performances as “inspiring.” He almost had it. He almost pulled it off. And then he said it…“its a little too tough to watch too much” of the Paralympics. Oh man.

In the interest of being fair, Trump’s team has said the comment was referencing his busy schedule. As much as he wanted, he found it “tough” to find the time to watch all of the Paralympic events. Ok. Even if this is true, most people were shocked, outraged, stunned, appalled, offended…pick whatever adjective you want. When I saw this, I drew upon the always reliable WTF…Amichai was obviously not in my presence…If he had been, I would have busted out my mom’s preferred way to curse without cursing in front of the kids – SUCKER!

The thing is – if we put aside the alarming insensitive nature of his comments, if we casually put aside the fact that he’s the leader of the free world and should have enough awareness to use some sort of internal filter, if we put aside the dark and disturbing fact that he has made fun of  a disabled reporter  – maybe Trump is inadvertently helping? Maybe he is providing a platform to confront our own feelings and perceptions about disability and how that makes us feel. Perhaps in his supremely oblivious ignorance, he opened a window and it is upon us – the rightfully shocked, outraged, stunned…etc. – to honestly climb through it.

I’ll go first.

I’ve referenced my athletic past. My childhood, adolescence, adulthood – fine my entire life – revolved and continues to revolve around sport. I have always been surrounded by teammates who were able-bodied like myself. But I won’t place the blame squarely on sports, because even off the court or field, when I think about the spectrum of people who have come in and out of my life – there is basically no one whom I was in steady contact with that had any type of disability – cognitive or physical. I can remember only one boy from camp who wore a leg brace and walked with a limp…hindsight is 20/20 and I wish I would have known him better.

I simply wasn’t exposed to very many disabled people. When I would see someone who was paralyzed, or someone missing a limb (or limbs), or someone walking with a limp, or a someone who had a physical deformity – it wasn’t in my norm. Let’s put the cards on the table – for me, that was tough to see… and I tended to look away. I don’t think that made me a bad person – uninformed, uneducated, naïve – absolutely, but bad? Don’t know. And while I’d like to hope that people are more informed than I was…I have a feeling most have similar reactions – because it can look scary, it can look uncomfortable, it can look…tough. And we often don’t like to see tough things in life. I think that’s ok to admit.

While I’m not scared to admit these things, what is scary for me is that if Amichai had never had a stroke, had never been diagnosed with CP – I would have just carried on – never ever gaining a deeper understanding of disability. That is scary because this understadning has enriched my life. I am not saying that I am happy he had a stroke. That was traumatic. I am not saying that this is what I wished for him. It certainly was not. Maybe I’m just saying that there are blessings in the dark, and lessons to be learned. And maybe Amichai was given specifically to me so that I could learn…and hopefully teach him a thing or two.

Amichai exposed me to a world I never imagined I would be a part of. Through him, through other children and adults that I have been exposed to -its all changed. Its not tough to see because that’s not all there is to see. There is innovation and determination. There is excellence and precision. There is passion and energy. There is humility and pride. There is intelligence and perspective. There is beauty and kindness. There is understanding and inclusivity. There is capability and strength.

We aren’t all privileged to be exposed to this daily or even semi-daily. Learn from my mistakes. Expose yourself to disability (I really don’t like that word – I’m open to suggestions). Confront it. Make yourself uncomfortable for one moment and then see that that moment is fleeting and shallow. We can all do better. Here’s an easy way to start – watch the Paralympics. You will not be disappointed. They provide an opportunity for exposure. They provide an opportunity to look past a missing limb, look past paralysis, look past deformity, look past a limp, look past blindness or any other impairment – and see the real deal.

Hey Mr. President, if the Paralympics were tough to watch – my advice – keep watching.